What is Adlerian Therapy for Couples?

Waiting, Painting by Edgar Degas, 1882

Adlerian couple’s therapy comes from the individual psychology of Alfred Adler, which focuses on the role of social interest, equality, and goal orientation in relationship dynamics. This approach does not only view couples as two individuals in conflict but as a unit shaped by each partner’s early life experiences. It explores deeper meaning behind struggles within relationships rather than focusing only on solving problems, and looks to uncover the unconscious goals that lie underneath a couple’s patterns of interaction.

One main part of Adlerian couple’s therapy is the belief that all behaviour is purposeful. In relationships, this would mean that even seemingly irrational or hurtful actions serve a function which are often related to unmet needs for belonging or significance. Therapy helps each partner recognize how their behaviour and emotional responses are influenced by early experiences and internalized beliefs about love, power, trust, and vulnerability. Understanding these patterns and becoming self-aware can be the first step towards healing as a couple.

Adlerian therapy places a strong emphasis on the concept of equality and mutual respect in intimate relationships. Conflict is often seen as a sign of a power imbalance or a struggle for significance, and the therapist works to create open communication, collaboration, and empathy which can help partners see each other as allies rather than enemies.

Black Rock Sands, Painting by Andy Lowe, Year Unknown

Another main part of Adlerian couple’s therapy is its attention to the couple’s shared goals and direction. Instead of dwelling on past grievances, the therapist helps partners clarify what kind of relationship they want to build and what values they wish to uphold together. This can empower couples to create a more intentional and meaningful relationship based on mutual respect and shared purpose.

Therefore, Adlerian couple’s therapy focuses on both insight and action, and supports partners in developing greater self-awareness while building the skills needed for change. The therapist helps couples move beyond blame and defensiveness toward deeper understanding, cooperation, and intimacy by creating an environment of empathy and respect.