What is Undoing?

Hafod: Upper Part of Cascade, Painting by John Warwick Smith, 1793

Undoing is a psychological defence mechanism in where an individual attempts to negate or reverse an unacceptable thought, impulse, emotion, or feeling through another thought or action. Instead of directly tolerating the emotional conflict, the person would engage in behaviours or mental rituals meant to symbolically “cancel out” what feels dangerous or guilt-provoking. This process usually occurs unconsciously and is commonly linked to anxiety, guilt, and fear of causing harm to oneself or others.

From a psychodynamic perspective, undoing demonstrates an effort to manage internal conflict without fully confronting its emotional meaning. The original impulse or thought remains active, but is followed by a compensatory act designed to restore a sense of safety. For example, an individual may express excessive kindness after experiencing anger, or repeatedly reassure themselves after an intrusive thought. These actions do not always resolve the underlying conflict and can reinforce anxiety over time, even though they may provide temporary relief.

Undoing is frequently observed in obsessive–compulsive patterns, but it can also appear in more subtle interpersonal and emotional contexts. People may apologize repeatedly, overexplain, validate, or engage in ritualized behaviours to neutralize feelings of guilt or responsibility. In relationships, undoing can be shown through grand gestures after perceived wrongdoing, which is intended to remove internal distress rather than repair. Psychodynamically, this shows the difficulty of tolerating aggression or imperfection within the self.

Willows by a Stream, Painting by Pascal Adolphe Jean Dagnan-Bouveret, 1908

George Vaillant’s hierarchy of defences places undoing among the neurotic defences, which reflects its intermediate level of adaptiveness. According to Vaillant, undoing can allow individuals to maintain psychological functioning while containing anxiety, but it does so at the cost of emotional integration. Unlike more mature defences, undoing separates action from insight, preventing the person from fully understanding or owning the emotional meaning of their experience. As a result, guilt and anxiety often return, leading to repeated cycles of neutralizing behaviour.

In psychodynamic psychotherapy, undoing is seen as a meaningful signal rather than simply a symptom to be eliminated. Therapy can help individuals recognize the emotions and conflicts being defended against, such as anger, shame, anxiety, or fear of loss, through examining when and why undoing occurs. Over time, patients can develop greater capacity to tolerate these feelings directly, leading to more mature forms of emotional regulation. This process supports a more integrated sense of self, in which responsibility or imperfection can be had without the need for constant reversal or repair.